M. is still here but the end is near. He is leaving in just over a week. In 11 days to be exact. Flight at 6 am. I was going to take him to the airport but we’d have to leave at 4 am. He is going to go with the group. It’s just starting to hit me now that he is soon going to be gone home. I am going to have to be strong when I see him this week. Tomorrow night we have plans and we will see each other on the weekend also. I also think I will see him the night before he leaves. I would love to see him more than that but that would make things harder. And he has friends and homework and studying. And I have G. who requested a sleepover Friday night. And Easter dinner Sunday. I invited him but he likely won’t come.
He is like me. Nerdy, Googles everything, loves sex. We have great chemistry. He makes me smile and laugh. He loves his kids. He asks me deep questions. He is sexy as hell, with the nicest ass I have ever seen naked. He is turned on by me. If he had come to town when he was supposed to, in the fall, we never would have met. Thank you Universe. I only wish it was not time for him to go already. I hope we stay in touch.
Up until yesterday, I had been waiting and waiting for my period to finally arrive. There was a possibility that M.’s super sperm had hit its target. Part of me was kind of hoping that it had hit its target. I was ready to face that consequence. We would have made a beautiful baby with green eyes and caramel skin. But I did not get to 42 years old with no children because I am fertile. Quite the opposite probably, since the times that the sperm was on the loose were during the supposed most fertile time of the cycle. Sigh. It’s not in my cards I guess. I have to let it go. Just like I have to let M. go. I knew it was for a short time when it started. And really it’s ok but I didn’t think it would be this hard when he left. And he’s still here for goodness sakes! I am going to be a mess next week.